"Little is the enjoyment of the life of this world as compared to the hereafter."

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته 

Being a Muslim in a Western world, in an area where the Muslim community is very small and most of the people have no idea about your belief, is very hard. 
I often feel that I am somewhere in between the two lifestyles: the one of peers and the the one of a true Muslim. The difference between both is enormous.. The first is the opposite of the another. 
I grew up in the Western society and for me it is very hard to completely change everything in my life in a short time. I often wish to do some of the things which are haram, like dress in a improper way, just because I like the clothes or go for a dinner and eat some haram dish... 
I'm aware of consequences and it is the main reason why I'm doing my best to stay away from the haram. For example recently I decided to become vegetarian, just because the halal meat is not available in Poland. I also give up any kind of relations with people from my school, because they love to go out at night and have fun, drink, etc. 
It is really hard, because it often makes me feel lonely, but I know that my acts will help me to go to Jannah Inshaallah.

"Are you pleased with the life of this world rather than hereafter. But little is the enjoyment of the life of this world as compared to the hereafter." (Quran 9:38)

"Those are they who have bought the life of this world at the cost of price of the hereafter. Their torment shall not be lightened nor shall they be helped." (Quran 2:86)

The whole story started in ...

The whole story started in Egypt during Ramadan in the year 2007...

Luckily I had a chance to be there exactly during Ramadan and just after having a hard time in my life. Alhamdulillah! I saw there many people praying five times a day, many people not eating and drinking throughout the day, woman covering themselves…

I was amazed by the number of those who were truly devoted to their religion and were able to stay away from normal daily activities and habits just for Allah.

It made me read about Islam, the more I read the more I wanted to know. I started looking for Muslims with who I can talk about religion and ask them questions, finally I started reading Quran.

I honestly do not remember the exact date of saying my shahada. I think it was around the end of 2008 and the beginning of 2009. Alhamdulillah.
I had a period during which I wanted to be the best Muslim that I can, unfortunately knowing the situation and attitude of my family towards Islam made it hard and at the times impossible.
As a young girl with a big secret I could not stand the tension. I gave up easily. I never stopped believing, however I stopped any practice. I put aside Quran, praying when possible, making Duaa, listening to Quran recitations… Instead I became like any other teenagers around me. After some time I started smoking, I started dressing in improper way, going to parties, drinking alcohol... Astaghfirallah…

Unfortunately my mental condition was getting worse… Depression, suicide thoughts, self-harm… It all was getting better when I found replacements of Islam, like the ones I mentioned few seconds before. However the replacements gave me a feeling similar to learning me or helping me to carry the “stones” that were putting me into a bad mental condition. Whenever I stopped certain replacement it was still easy to carry the stones, but after a short time it was same as it was or even worse…

Not long time ago, around 3 weeks ago I realized what was my mistake. I became aware of it and it made me feel too bad but at the same time feeling that the stones are getting lighter and that I am generally getting better. I was slowly going back on the right way, actually I am still getting there. Alhamdulillah!

This breakthrough moment made me feel like I will never ever get back into the wrong way. I will do my best to stay as close to the correct path and as a result as close to Allah, as possible. Inshaallah.

I needed support and I was blessed with it, actually him – my fiancé.  As we are both reverts, he understands me perfectly and he is doing his best to help me in my journey.

With this post I would like to start writing this blog – Ms. Yara.
I will try to share my experience and knowledge and opinions mostly about and connected with Islam, but also many other things. Inshaallah!